Who am I? 



Many years I tried to figure this out....Raised in a dysfunctional home in a community where I was very different, I never felt I fit in....and yet I could mingle with any group. It is a strange mixture of paradoxes.  I have always said I feel comfortable around anyone and that is true.  I can really mix in with any group. Maybe that's why I always felt as though I was an outsider. 

until i submitted to HIM.  

I was raised with a father who was severely alcoholic and a mother who was severely a people-pleaser.  My parents both encouraged my individuality (and I was certainly a unique blend), but discouraged me being like my peers who just happened to be primarily African-American.  

I remember being a young girl and not feeling different...as I grew up and became a teen, I felt extremely different.  I would try to fit in...would grease my hair to look like my friends, I would wear DARK makeup because that's what my friends did.  I didn't speak like my parents.  I had that very distinctive "white girl in the hood"  pattern of speech.  I never felt the same as everyone else.  Obviously different, but the same on the inside.  I am thankful for it, and I know that it made me who I am today...now in my skin I feel comfortable.....relaxed....at ease. 


In my early 20's and 30's, God had his hand on my heart and I started to turn back toward Him.  Since then, I have found that I don't feel alone in a crowded room.  I feel more ME  than ever.....See what was missing wasn't the happy, well-adjusted home or the sameness of my peers...what was missing was JESUS.  HE made me feel protected, wanted and a part of something that was bigger than all of it.  How I bless HIS name for giving me all of the experiences I have had to make me now feel that in a crowded room I belong. Not because of me, but because of HIM and His great love for me.