Listening to an old favorite sermon of mine by Steven Furtick today called Just Call Me Jacob, I heard a statement that I've heard hundreds of times and always viewed as a convicting tidbit, but never more until today.  He said, "don't give what you want most for what you want now."  I have been struggling with maintaining a healthy, active lifestyle. Something always gets in the way of this. Most often, it is that I get sidetracked by the things in life that are good....caring for family, enjoying time with friends and rest and relaxation. Those things are all very good, but let's face it....I only need to really carve out about an hour a day 4-5 times/week and do something I enjoy to do this. I have a poor sense of motivation it seems...even at things that I *semi* enjoy.  

Tied into this realization was the visit to my mother's pulmonologist this AM.  She had been through so very much recently when it comes to health and well-being and is doing better than ever.  I heard her lament of how she wishes now she were more independent because she feels better, but she was not doing what needs to happen to maintain independence during that time.  

There are so many things I want to enjoy in my future years. I desperately want to be the fun grandmother and still the fun wife who goes on trips and is genuinely healthy and vibrant. I want to be the one who inspires others to not lose their spark in their older years. I pray that this realization will invigorate me and revive my desire to be more and do more.  I want to break the cycle that has so long enslaved my family